Friday, August 31, 2007

Of Mice and Men

What is in the air, people? Seems like everywhere I turn these days, inwardly or outwardly, sweet souls are suffering. Suffering from loss or loneliness or purposelessness. Some have some real biggies going on: deaths of loved ones, ends of relationships, isolation from their support system. And the rest of us? Just feeling low and lost. Whenever a big wave of a particular emotion washes over, collectively, those I love, I am oddly reassured. What did Anne Morrow Lindbergh say? We are all islands in a common sea.

For two weeks now I've felt a bit out of my body. Maybe because I've been a little ill...I don't know, but my energy level and spirits have been low. But yesterday, miraculously, in the most unlikely place, I was blessed with a little karmic boost, and just that tiny nudge seems to have directed me back to a more gentle path.

I have one friend, Amy, who so intuitively knows when to reach out to me that sometimes it's a bit shocking. She's one of my closest friends from midwifery school and still lives in NY, so our contact isn't terribly frequent. The occurrence of her calls, though, is always so serendipitously timed that I often have that Addams Family sensation - the one where an unsuspecting guest shows up at the haunted house and accepts something graciously from a ghost, and then does a double-take. Nearly every time Amy calls I do the same thing, looking around the room suspiciously and thinking, "Who told her??".

My conversations with Amy are inevitably nourishing, as this is how she is in her life, in all things. She is a Healer, a calm and steady presence. Amy treads lightly upon the earth, lives consciously and with purpose. She cans vegetables and makes her own cheese, all in her Astoria home. How did all this wisdom and tenderness get crammed into a beautiful NY broad? - hard to say. I'm just glad we're friends.

The only creative pursuit I've been able to fulfill is my crochet-frenzy. I found these wonderful patterns on Crochet Pattern Central and have been making Andrew some veggies and mice. I never grow tired of this kind of crocheting, and Pete has even caught the fever. He's getting it down pat, and it's an oddly intimate and enjoyable thing to do together. For a man who's taught me so much, it's fun to teach him a thing or two. About mice. And turnips.


Galadriel Thompson said...

Hey Jill, here's a great big hug. I just read your reply on Ahna's post and immediately came over here. I admire you so much just so you know. It must be that time. The time right before fall or something. It seems like something should be happening and we should be changing or something.
This might all sound cheap or silly coming from someone who doesn't know you, but I adore you. I think your heart and your spirit are amazing. You are one of the reasons I blog at all. Finding you has inspired me to reach outside of my comfort zone and try to kindle up a friendship with someone I have never seen. I'm a bit of a loner. I've always had a hard time making connections. I take that back. I'm great at making connections just really bad at keeping them. I'm terribly self-conscious and live in fear that I'm never as wonderful as the friends I make.
So, thank you for being you and I hope that silver lining stays for awhile.

Hugs and kisses

Amy said...

It's so nice to have that connection with someone, real friendship can be rare so it is definitely something to cherish..she sounds like a cool girl...(And cute mice!)

ahna brandvik logan said...

I, like Galdriel, read your reply on my post and had to come find out how you were feeling. I think that she may be right - the melancholy of a changing seasons and a reassigning of our roles as women... it can be such a great thing and so hard to do all at the same time.
I can't tell you how much I've read your blog and felt like I somehow know you... You reach out to your readers in a wonderful way. You are thoughtful and obviously have a gentle, loving soul - who else could have such a love for poetry and the soft work of stitching... not to mention midwifery. Wow.
Thank you for reaching out to me in a time of pain and quiet loneliness. Thank you for your kind words that really spoke to my heart. And thank you for the wonderful words that you write on your blog. I look forward to reading what you have to say.

Rose said...

Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog. You're right! We need care packages more than ever when we're grown up and carry so much on our shoulders. Luckily most of us seem to have figured out how to give ourselves the care we need, but it is wonderful when they show up from others unexpectedly! Like comments on a blog, for example. Thanks again and I hope you have a peaceful, serene weekend.

by Johanna Brandvik said...

Your comment on Ahna's blog led me to you. So true about people being in a funk lately, me included. It's a beautiful thing when we reach out during difficult times and find one another, however. And it really is so crazy how our truly great friends always seem to know when to call...just when we need it. I look forward to coming back to your blog often. I've loved what I've read/seen. Thank you for sharing your beauty.